Reflections, Resolutions, Or Funny Cats?

Oh come on. (happy new year)

 

 

 

Not cats... 

 

 Yelling.

 

 

 

 

 



 

He thinks he's people! 

 

More yelling.

 

 

 

 

"Oh my god... Why isn't anyone else freaking out??"

 

 

 

 

You're still entertained by this? That's adorable.

 

 

 

 

Good morning to you

I woke up this morning to the sound of a baby being run over a tractor - but as usual, it just turned out to be my cat, hunched in front of my face, begging to be fed. I buried my face in my pillow and reminded him that he wasn't due for breakfast for another hour and would he please just "shut up and snuggle, you fat asshole!!". But he succeeded in getting me out of my warm bed and I started my day as I always do: Sluggishly moving through the kitchen, fixing Dobby his breakfast and insulin shot while growling at him*, then making myself the strongest cup of coffee my french press is capable of and sitting in front of my computer until I had to go to the bathroom.

When I'm overnight-ing it on tour, it is more or less the same. Waking up to the phone alarm and after hitting snooze for the fourth time, a jolt of panic runs through my body that I might be running late and I jump out of the hotel bed, counting my blessings that I showered the night before, or coming to the divine conclusion that I smell like a basket of roses and angel babies even without showering, and I grab my bags and hope that I didn't leave anything (like my Converses at the Comfort Inn in West Palm... sigh) and scurry down to the lobby to grab coffee that tastes like it was brewed years ago after a long night of drinking Billy beer and Alabama Slammers and excuse myself once we reach the theatre to go use the restroom.

If morning rituals have any bearing on how our days pan out, then perhaps I need to find a better ritual than one that's centered around pooping. I'm sorry, I should have used the more delicate phrase: "Take a Big Girl", but if you haven't yet figured out that my mornings are all about successfully, um, moving, then you probably are also missing a lot of the not-so-subtle suggestive language I use in this blog. Plus, I figure most of you spend your mornings pooping- discreetly, if you're partnered or room-mated.

I've tried various additions to my morning rituals: yoga, light jogging, going back to sleep... When I lived up north, my morning walks to work or to the train, especially through the snow, had a powerful calming effect over my state of mind and generally made me less of an Anxious Annie. I liked that. If I woke up tense and shrieking like a banshee, I'd move through the rest of the day terrifying anyone who came in contact with me.

Different things work for different people, as far as setting the tone of your day goes. Some people, some freakish, inhuman people, have to go to the gym first thing in the morning in order to feel good! Others, brace yourself, watch cable news. Blargh! I know, outrageous, right? For me, I've found the best morning ritual is laughter.

Ugh, that sounds so fucking corny, The best medicine is laughter, but dammit, for me it is one hundred percent true. If I wake up laughing, I will spend the rest of my day as affection and sweet tempered as basket of puppies. Speaking of puppies...

Like the rest of America, I love funny animal videos. Talking dogs, Canadian beavers, Honey Badgers who don't give a shit, I love it all. Recently one of my favorites is, appropriately titled

EPIC CAT FIGHT Cat's Horror

Try and doubt it's awesomeness and it will slap you in the face with it's perfect and amazing use of the Predator 2 soundtrack. Holy moly, this thing is the best ever.



So there you have it, my morning. I drink coffee, use the ladies room and giggle. How do you start your day?

* I truly bear my cat no ill feelings, no matter how much he whines. If someone only fed me half a cup of dry pellets while jabbing me in the back of the neck with needles twice a day every day for the rest of my life, I'd be pretty fussy too. Plus, look at this butterball of sass and sunshine!

The Wilford Brimley of Cats.

Half hearted

My stars and garters. Okay- I only posted twice last month. This is not good. I really do have several subjects that I wanted to talk about (not just blenders and music videos, although I certainly know the blinding, magnificent appeal of both of those topics), but it has become just so damn hard to sit down and focus my thoughts for more than 10 minutes at a time I sure could go for some coffee...

Bwaugh? Oh, staying focused and being a productive blogger. Yep, I am neither of those things. I do so apologize and promise that I am working on bettering myself in both areas. Please, accept this video of a talking cat as part of my apology- the part that distracts you from my poor blogging skills.

But I mean... Cats! In glasses!

My cat and John Lithgow

I reckon we are continuing the possibly never ending list of "wants"-

Right now what I want the most is the health of my cat and myself, as we are both a little sassy and unwell, as this old photo from my Chicago days should prove.

Neither my cat nor myself are smokers. Anymore.

I also want peanut butter pie.


Yes, I have the personality of a bowl of black liquorice at the moment, so to make up for it- I am sharing funny things that are funny to tide me, and anyone who has wandered over here looking for a good time and instead found an anxious lady and her sick cat, over. Apologies.

If you don't watch the Colbert Report or like John Lithgow, I have nothing to offer you. If you like both, boy are you in for a treat. I like this because well, it's John Lithgow. And it reminds me that I actually did a scene study with him, even though I am certain I had a manic, fangirl "please think I'm talented" look on my face the entire time (long story- maybe next time). His talent is larger than he is, and that is one tall man.

Because I am having "photos as links" issues all of a sudden, here is the link to the awesome clip on Gawker.

Also, do you remember the "Radio Bart" Simpsons' episode? Oh you know, the one where he gets a microphone for his birthday, throws it down a well and pretends to be a little boy named Timmy trapped in the well until he himself gets trapped in the same well while trying to retrieve the mic (umm.... spoiler alert?). Well anywho, one of the best parts of the episode is the commercial for the mic, the Superstar Celebrity Microphone, which includes a guy driving by announcing "Hey good lookin! We'll be back to pick you up later!"



Well, here is the real commercial that it is based off of! Chuckles for days, I tells ya. (if you have seen the episode, that is)




You're all welcome. I will be back when I am full to bursting with good news.

With sass and love, Dobby the cat and Jessbecause

Yes, this is how I blog. I won't do it any other way.