Set your clocks to "Domesticate"

I have a new blender.

And outside of the one Godiva chocolate liquor laced milkshake I made (and subsequently spilled half of on the floor because I apparently do not know how to use a blender) I have no clue as to what the heck I will do with it.

Let me be clear about this. I asked for the blender and was delighted to pretend I was surprised when I received it for my birthday. But now I am stuck with a blender that, while it looks nice on my counter, I really don't know what to do with.

Well, that is not entirely true. I know I could start a journey of endless smoothies and avocado margaritas, but I have a fear of dropping a ton of money on fruit and tequila* that may just sit around and rot because I am really bad about remembering to use the fresh food I buy before it expires.... and gift cards, I'm horrible about using gift cards before the hotel/store/day spa/hair salon suddenly declares that the time to exchange services for the $100 they received has ended. (Yes, those are all real examples of gift cards I let expire, much to the dismay and disappointment of those who were foolish enough to waste their thoughtfulness on me - I'm really sorry, you guys)


If this whole blender thing is going to work, I really need to have some kind of beeping wristwatch that old people use to remember to take their medicine to remind me to use my fresh fruit and vegetables before they turn black and fuzzy and totally unusable.

But as it stands, I am stuck with figuring out how to properly deflower a semi-virgin blender. Suggestions?

*I know tequila doesn't rot. But if it is anything like our bourbon, it does tend to magically disappear whenever I stop keeping tabs of who is getting their hands on it.