Saturday, February 21, 2009

What is it?

Tell me, why can I not have normal dreams? I mean, every single dream I have is WACKO. Last night, I dreamed that I had come back to America after I had spent a few months in Europe backpacking, which led to me meeting my husband, who backpacked with me through the mountains, only they looked more like the Garden of Eden meets Land of the Lost: fire and ice, lush valleys, rocky and barren terrain, and fruit! Fruit everywhere! Anyway, apparently, we spent a year backpacking and hopping trains and the reason I had to come home was because somewhere along the way he died. And I was home, with no rhyme or reason, but I had become something of an international figure, unknowingly encouraging people to go to the mountains and live and strengthen themselves physically and spiritually. I had developed a following of people who wished to live as I did! I was to honor my late husband, but I couldn't recall the details of how we met... I would have flashbacks of how we initially met in some futuristic train station, where the elevators would take you to different concourses in time and space (this part of the dream was very long and was a lot of rushing to meet in different locations), and then I would recall brief special moments as we backpacked, eating fresh fruit and climbing hills.
So, then after what seems like an eternal struggle to recall this encounter and subsequently inspirational marriage and period of my life, I decide to join this theatre company. I take this sublet in some dirt poor mid western town- I was in hurry to unpack and make the place livable, which was hard enough, because the girl who lived there had left all her stuff and it was old and dirty and very makeshift... Also Meredith and Jennifer came to help me unpack, but the neighbors in the complex kept walking into my apartment to socialize and find out about me. I was so frustrated because I had to meet someone... I had come this place to surprise someone.
The dream is truly a lot longer and more detailed and when I finally awoke I was beyond drained and had a killer headache. I felt as though I needed a nap after everything that I had been through in the dream.
It does not make a damn bit of sense! I try to put things together, but it is just too exhausting and still doesn't really fit. I wish I could have normal dreams or that I could forget them as soon as I woke up. For some reason, my memory retains enormous detail from my dreams. Blegh. My mom is the same way- she remembers every detail of her dreams, which are incredibly visual and complex and freaky.
I regret that I could not remember the details of the backpacking excursion. It would seem that I couldn't remember them for a purpose, but I knew enough and remembered enough to realize that it was a life altering experience and that it was one of those once in a lifetime relationships. I just want to know how it became so inspirational to others!
I'm going to put a protein treatment in my hair. That's normal.


Frau Schmidt said...

I bet you were backpacking around Europe to visit the various wizarding colleges to recruit for your all-wizard traveling theatre company.

Just a guess...

joyful girl said...

cupcake, that's a beautiful dream. i'm sorry it ached your head & made you feel weird when you woke up, but don't wish to not have dreams anymore! i have really detailed dreams too & i think of it as a blessing - a lot of them, although at first glace just plain weird, hae eventually given me insights i don't think i would've reached otherwise...
hang in there, love.