I am super duper failing my blog challenge. I'm churning out posts, but they are baby posts. Tween posts. So to enhance my chances of writing a full length post, I'm using my secret weapon:
I can't guarantee cohesiveness. I can't guarantee clever writing. I can't guarantee that I will stay on topic for more than a few sentences, but I can guarantee... that I...
will have more wine.
I am watching
Fear Hellevator on Hulu, and having a grand time. You guys, I fucking loved MTV's Fear, and I will watch it again in any incarnation. Fear-a-vator. I'm ready.
Okay, who in the name of Jupiter (that's right, I'm invoking Jupiter) are these spooky emo twins? They apparently control the game, but with what? With their feelings? Their manic panic hair dye? Their Hot Topic membership cards?
Oh no, they finally feared out a contestant with hidden keys and my dad's old gas fireplace.
Okay, it was first episode, so I actually did lose sight of my interweb goals, and put all my focus on the show. I'm already on the second episode, and I would like to make a small observation. Is this show intentionally racially divided? I'm guessing not, but I have yet to figure out how these three person teams are put together. Like, do they pick their own teams? Who knows. There's a whole season of episodes to figure this one out.
Okay, I'm back to my biggest mystery of Hellevator. These non-twin twins. I think they're called fraternal twins. Or, maybe they're just two ladies in recycled Rocky Horror Picture Live outfits? The Twisted Twins. Not quit the Killer Babysitter Twins, but I suppose they get the job done. And they are most likely horror-con superstars. That is my go to guess when I see people who are clearly famous, but totally unknown to me. They are Con-Stars.
This is quite fancier than Fear. First off, there is more money at stake. The set ups are a bit more elaborate, and the major difference lies in that this is way more Jaycee's Haunted House than an actual haunted house.
What I loved about Fear was that any scare the contestants got was created in their own heads. The kids call it psychological. Right now the challenge is a contestant playing Apples to Apples with miniature toxic waste barrels, or something like that. Not that Apple to Toxic Apples isn't a real brain teaser, but I am really counting on a fright induced fart, and I'm not sure glow worm coke cans are going to cut it.
When I was fifteen years old, I was spending my second summer at my father's apartment. There wasn't much to do, other than watch Scooby Doo, hang out by the pool, and listen to Tori Amos's From Choirgirl Hotel while staring up at my glow in the dark stars, thinking my super deep, fifteen year old thoughts. I had finished up musical theatre camp, and my summer production of Godspell, and at that point was just counting down days.
One afternoon, I was elbow deep in a bag of Milano's cookies, recounting the previous evening's episode of Space Ghost and channel flipping. I was prepared to scoot past mtv and see if they I could catch a Real World marathon, when I was suddenly immersed in night vision, rusty walls, and Tommy Hilfiger and hair mascara.
It was my first episode of Fear, and as a girl who had an obsession with all things spooky, an infatuation completely contradictory to her scaredy cat nature, I was totally hooked. That is, until about 20 minutes in, when I found myself curled up under the kitchen counter, holding a knife and calling my friend Thad for back up. True story. I can't quite remember what set me off. They were in an abandoned prison, I remember, and someone had to... do something with an electric chair? I can't quite remember, but I do know that Tori and The Brady Bunch were both at full blast that evening on my cd walkman.
Mike and I have had youtube Fear marathons, just to recount our experiences watching it, and kids - it holds up. Yes, in a different, more "look at the children running" sort of way, but it still stands on its own.
That is why I was pretty excited to see this new show, this Fear 2.0. Although I do realize that it is it's own entity and should be judged on it's own merit. But come on, There is no way that this show is not appealing to that middle ground generation, the one between X and Millenials. You know, the one that is demanding everyone appeal to their own nostalgia.*
So, here we go, My none Fear related, one and a half episode review is this:
It's good for the laughs. Nothing will ever be more terrifying than your own imagination, but this is a entertaining, three glasses of wine, pre-bed time binge show. You guys know what I speak of. Those last few minutes of the day where you turn to everything possible to completely turn off your brain. The show is fun when it's fun, but there is a little something to be desired. But I could be totally wrong here. I only watched two full episodes. It may very well stand on it's own as a solid form of cheap entertainment.
I am just crossing fingers that there will be an episode where everyone quits. You know, like on Fear.
*This is a good future post topic.