Happy Halloween, turkeys.
Watched your favorite scary movie?
Visited your local pumpkin patch and contemplated stealing a baby A. goat B. pig C. cow and naming it after your favorite Stephen King character?
Raided the dollar store in search of Halloween craft gold?
Stomped out of said dollar store, feeling frustrated, cheap and uncreative?
Gawked at the cutest of your friends kids in their costumes, feeling only slightly envious of their tricks or treats? And by slightly, I mean insanely.
Let forth a stream of colorful swears in public after your fifth failed attempt to find all the required elements of this year's elaborate costume?
Watched It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown?
Stepped into any chain store and gazed up at the Christmas decorations that were put up weeks ago, feeling alternately irked, excited and overwhelmed?
Did you answer yes to any of these, then proceeded to do some comfort eating?
You're ready for the holidays.