Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Year in Yikes

Dear Jessbecause,

What a little year you had for yourself, fancypants! You filled it with unemployment, agoraphobia, friendship/relationship crippling depression, a diabetic kitty, the loss of a family dog, the gaining of an extra 15 pounds to add to the 10 you gained in 2010, constant exhaustion and illness, and now a possible tumor in the old noggin (we'll know more after the ct scan on the 9th -thanks elevated prolactin!)...

But hold up there, Sullen Susan. You did have quite a few tech/ensemble/teaching gigs and voice over work; you got to go on tour with a great group of actors for three months, you realized that you can actually count on your special someone to be more than a good laugh and sweet piece of meat excellent hand holder (never know if his folks are reading... I hope for his sake, and mine, that they never feel compelled to check out the blog - not that I am ever anything but a lady in all I say and do), you met some wonderful people, learned to crochet, went on a top notch camping trip without getting sunburned and/or drowning in your own tent, and you're closing out the year doing a great production portraying, once again, a singing and dancing whore sample provider.

So while I may not exactly be mourning the loss of 2011, it will be a little bittersweet to end the year of seemingly never-ending trial. The great gift of the year was to learn how to trust and to believe that people can be counted on to do more than scoot when the going gets rough.

Those crazy Mayans may have predicted doom and gloom for 2012, but the Druids - who's word I'm inclined to take purely based on the fact that they have the balls to follow a great goddess, or at least that is my understanding from reading The Mists of Avalon 6 years ago - have claimed that not only will 2012 be just fine, it will be straight up Bitchin'.

Rock solid, Druids! Let's get this new year started then! Here are my suggestions as to how you can fully enhance my next 12 months that your prediction so wisely says will be so mind melting, car window punching, dancing on rooftops and Muppet style exploding-ly awesome.

1. No more unemployment. Yes, I am mostly speaking for myself - but lets cut the rest of the U.S of A a break and knock down that unemployment rate. It's making people cranky and a little too ready to believe whatever fear based "news" is thrown their way.

2. Tell those extra pounds that have overstayed their welcome in spite of all my hints and constant watch tapping just where they can get off - and then throw them and their hat right out the back door ( a purely figurative back door- although I understand the fat has to get out somehow).

3. Theatre/film/voice over work only please. Good theatre/film/voice over work only please - I've done my 9 to 5 time and even Dolly Parton agrees that being a professional door mat is not a preferable way to make a living.

4. No tumors. Self explanatory. Good health physically and mentally, please.

5. Make sure I stay on my best behavior this year - no self sabotaging or Bridget Jones-ing it or messing up the good things I managed to keep going in 2011.

6. Good luck and more good luck, even if that means I'll have black eyed peas and greens coming out of my ears New Years day.

7. Last one, because we don't to ask too much of the year - please make me the best me I can be. No that sounds corny. Make me better than I or anyone else could have ever imagined. I would like to feel like I am fulfilling some kind of purpose, not just farting around from gig to sad little paycheck to gig.

No resolutions this year, Jessbecause, just requests to be sent up into the universe and beyond. I think the new year can handle it - plus it will be a little nice to take the pressure off of myself this year to follow through with promises that I can't possibly have total control over. Girl, whether you deserve a break or not - I'm a little conflicted over the whole notion of "deserving" things - I sure hope you get one!

Happy New Year and may good luck and blessings rain down upon your anxious little head.



As for everyone else: I hope you all have an outstanding year ahead of you. I raise the whole damn bottle to you!

Jessbecause of 6 years ago wishes you the best freakin year ever- right before she passes out on the beach with a sparkler in her hand.

1 comment:

Fox said...

Happy New Year, Jessica! May our successes cripple our competitors and the shame we bring to our families be sold for film rights!