Friday, May 14, 2010


'Bama, darlin'- why are you so moody with your weather? I get the impression that because it's all hot and muggy outside that it is perfectly acceptable for me to prance around in my little jumper, until you bitch slap me with a cold chill and I'm left a goosebumped Jessicicle.
But, nevertheless, it is summer in the south, baby. Mimosas, mint juleps, sweet tea in mason jars! Fat people in little shorts, little people in next to nothing! Summer flings! Impromptu beach trips! Driving with the windows down!
How can you not love the summer? I welcome the change of the seasons- however much my sinuses doth protest (pollen, you bitch).
Speaking of change, I guess I better officially announce that, once again, I will be on the move. This time to New York City. I've been putting off saying anything, just because I don't want to jinx myself. But as soon as I finish up Soccer Moms at City Equity all my attention is going to be focused on making the transition to the big city. I don't have much to say about it, other than its a move that is way overdue, but hey- at least I'm doing it. I saw The Hold Steady perform Hurricane J on the Colbert Report and the lyrics that stuck with me are
"Hurricane Jess, she's gonna crash into the harbor this summer
She don't wanna wait, she said it only gets harder"
I'm taking them out of context. Still, I'm doing this; I'm not waiting anymore. Hurray, right?
The past few years seem to be nothing but transition, so I look forward to hopefully settling someplace for a spell. No complaints about transition- you learn a lot about yourself and others.
I think one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is (and be prepared to be wowed by my wisdom): Having a good heart doesn't make you a good person. Stay with me. Being a good person takes real work, and not everyone is up to that task. So it is entirely possible for a person to have a good heart, but be a total asshole. I know- where the hell did that come from, Jess? Trust me, its something that has plagued me for a long time; Why the hell do the people who I believe to be good do such dickish things? And the answer is this: goodness trapped in lazy douche-baggery and an unwillingness to be consistent. As someone who is pretty much constantly changing- changing her location, changing her mind, changing her attitude- I'm not sure if I'm qualified to judge the consistency of others' behavior, but I can say that I actively pursue being honest and try to not to flake out on people I care about. My good friend Forsythe once said that in America there is this idea the only way to achieve success and peace of mind is with intense selfishness.... or something like that. She also advised me to cuss out my enemies like a redneck- which I still fantasize about doing. "Yankee rat bastard! Yellow livered jesus shit eating pissant pantywaste!"
Yeah, something like that. Although I'm not sure why my pissed off redneck rants have a touch of old south in them. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this: I may be just another self obsessed actress (I admit it, you should admit it too), but I swear I will not take basic ethical standards, a fair temperament and an inclination to not murder people in cold blood for granted- I will always work at being a better person. Work work it.
I suppose that starts with not ragging on others for being jerks, huh?
While I have your attention, can I give a shout out to this artist, Blue Roses, whom I've been digging on all afternoon? At first listen, she strikes me as the possible love child of Kate Bush and Jon Brion, which as you can imagine, results in a quite lovely and haunting sound.

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