Saturday, January 9, 2010

1. Liberty is a lady

We've all learned a lot over the last century and in the early stages of this new one. Here are some things I'm hoping have become clear by now.

2. Diet menus at the drive thru are a sham. Any place that grows it's own meat in a dingy warehouse isn't concerning itself with your cankles.
3. Neck bangs are, and have always been, tacky. I'll slap you silly if I spot them on your person.
4. Having a touch screen map of the middle east and waving your pen around furiously does not make you a reporter of news. It. Does. Not.
5. Any guy who doesn't believe in chivalry isn't pro-feminism, he's just damn lazy and probably doesn't notice women outside of their measurements. Yes, I can open my own door - but the skinny tramp with no home and no education that hangs out in front of the gas station at the end of my street shouldn't have more manners/consideration than you do. Shameful.
6. Church. State. Two separate things.
7. Michael Bay is a cockbag. Boom boom.
8. Every time you belittle a person's race/gender/beliefs/orientation, you're only making them more amazing for enduring your ignorant bullshit.
9. Sex and the City = Yuck. A show that celebrated being materialistic and obsessed with men? Ewww. If you want a lady show, try Golden Girls!

And the one thing I'm hoping will become clear in the next decade is ....

1. iphones are ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as blogs. I mean, lets face it, that combined with Twitter encourages ADD, self involvement, and anti-social traits.
But I still waaaaant one... an app where you can pop bubble wrap? Awesome!


Living and Loving said...

Number 1 is fantastic. My friend actually has that bubble wrap app you know. Four of us spent twenty minutes trying to work together to beat his high-score of 241 bubbles popped within the time limit. Seventeen tries later we were no closer to succeeding, but oddly no less bored of popping virtual bubble wrap. Some things just never get old.

Jessica said...

number 1 is my favorite as well :) bubble wrap popping, virtual or otherwise, is the most calming and alternately exciting pastime, for sure!

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