Monday, June 22, 2009

I'll tell you tomorrow

And all that i want
And all that i need
And all that i've got
Is scattered like seed
And all that i knew
Is moving away from me
And all that i know
Is blowing like tumbleweed
Joanna Newsom

There are several things in this life I cannot control. I mean, things about myself. Thing numero uno : The licentious thoughts that come to mind whenever I think about Steven Colbert, Jon Stewart, Conan O'Brian, Jason Schwartzman, and Jeffrey Tambor. Okay, one of those might not be true.
The second thing is definitely my emotions - that is to say, they're gonna come out, I just don't know how. But usually they'll be masked in a delightful joke that no one will get anyway.
The third thing is my body's reaction to broccoli soup. Ugh. I think the love affair is over. My tummy...
I think that truly I just am having trouble releasing control. Or the need to believe that I could have control. These past few weeks have been a harsh reminder that none of us truly have any power, and its only idiots who believe for one second that they are truly in control. There's just no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going... you know?...

That is to say, I'm pretty sure I'm fucked and scraping the surface, but don't judge too harshly, as it could and probably will be you someday. Those of us who get back up will be all the more bad ass for it.

1 comment:

Matilde Majerik said...

dude. i feel you. please believe me that i do. tomorrow, indeed, there will be telling. <3 jm