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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Catch up and love it.

So here is the abridged theatre/medical update so I can move on to holiday fun. I will be using hasty, unfinished sentences that are the stuff grammar nightmares are made of... so just be prepared.

Theatre: Finished Whorehouse. Wonderful show, sold out houses, excellent cast/crew and pictures on my facebook page (here it is if you can't find your way from the link on the left side of the page). Preparing to start rehearsals for Alice in Wonderland at BCT and another production that I will wait until the official announcement goes out before I post it up on the old blog. But I am super excited for both shows. Possibly meeting with an agent in Savannah in the next few weeks. Still doing super secret scene studies with my cat. Until you see a cat do Strindberg, you haven't seen Strindberg.

Medical: Back in December I met with my lady doctor and discussed once again all the problems I had been having for the past few years  and mentioned the increased blackout/dizzy spells and once again they checked my thyroid, but they also checked my prolactin levels. Twice. Both times the prolactin levels were elevated. At that point, combined with all my other symptoms, they sent me in for a ct scan of my head just to "make sure there aren't any tumors". Let me tell you friends - a good day is the one when you find out you don't have a brain tumor. So yay on that end. However I have been through multiple blood tests, doctors appointments and spent 24 hours peeing into what looked like a laundry detergent bottle and there are still no answers. Seeing an endocrinologist soon and most likely am looking at more ct scans/mri of my adrenal glands/etc and more blood work. Worst case scenario is a cancerous tumor on my glands. However, that does not fit in with my plans this year and I feel fairly certain that as frustrating and inconvenient as my symptoms are, they would be a billion times worse if it were cancer. So, probably just some crazy lady problem. Ah the body of a woman is a battlefield!

So now I can move on to a topic I have been all giggles and cartwheels about. Valentines. Day. Crafts.

For the record these ideas are brought to you courtesy of instructables.com and dollarstorecrafts.com and there should be a link to each craft with a complete "How To". Oh, don't thank me. Really, I didn't even come up with this stuff. It just takes superior interweb and google skills to find these treasures - thank me for that!

Are you poor as dirt, but want your front door to shine with love? Dude, me too. So why not a paint chip valentine's day wreath? You'll look festive and you'll help your neighbors finally decide what shade of pink they want to paint their kitchen cabinets! (before the landlord makes them paint them back to the shade of faded off white they were before)



Are you Mauvelous Mauve or Pepto Bismal Pink?




Do you and your sweetheart live under the sea? Or, do you at least wish you did? Here's something to place in between your insanely exotic aquarium and one of your billions of blue glass dolphins: Heart shaped tentacles. Or you could make this totally ironically because, octopuses, man. Octopuses.





Has your lady threatened to leave you if you give her one more gift certificate to Applebee's in an oversized box while laughing hysterically about putting a tiny gift in a large box? Well, I don't blame her. Look thoughtful, talented and a little less douchey with a handmade hex nut heart pendant.





Perhaps you've had too much of the love stuff and are celebrating your singleness; or are you the proud owner of a restraining order from that stuck up girl who just won't give you a chance but if she did she'd see all the inner beauty your mom keeps telling you about? Well mister, sounds like you need a robot. A roboGrinch, to be specific.

This robot doesn't take you out to dinner, he just takes. you. out.


So there you have it friends. Sorry about the delay between postings. I will try to be more on top of my game and my updates from now until I am swamped with play actin'. Happy Valentine's from one who truly appreciates you!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It's not that I don't love you...

It is just that my life has been full of theatre, doctors' appointments, medical tests, cat scans and sleeping whenever I get a chance. I promise that I will post a full run down of the magical medical adventures of Jessica Clark, as some people were concerned as to whether or not I was okay (This in: tests show no brain tumor. Yay! But my head still may explode. Boo.), but I will save that for later.

Instead I will shameless promote yet another musical where I dance in my underwear and use a funny accent. THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS!!
You shoot on the Yee, not the Haw.




It has been a fun experience and has made me happier than a rich Texan. If I owned guns, I'd be shootin' them in the air, yelling "YeeHaw!".










We got a five star review, thank y'all very much. There's even a shout out to yours truly. And the audiences have loved it too, I tell you what! Tickets have been going fast for this one and there is only one more weekend to purchase them. So get on it if you are in the Birmingham area, or just love theatre road trips.

I mean it now. Pull those boots up, put away your nervous pants, and come on out for a little harmless fun. You can't just stay home watching the Dolly Parton film version (although Charles Durning has a very entertaining number in it). I didn't study all those King of the Hill episodes for nothing. So have a beer and pretend it's a Lonestar and come on down to the theatre.