Get all up in my business (or - What I've been up to)

Here it is - my morning off, after a weekend of performances and 12 hour rehearsal days... and yet I  have been up cleaning since about 7am. I am not sure what is more freakish - that I am awake after so little sleep, or that I am cleaning. Shudder.

Since I do have a date with my bed, I am keeping this short and sweet and to the point.

I have one more week of Alice left at the BCT. It has been an interesting and fun run, and a beautiful show to boot - I liked everyone I worked with, and that is always a blessing in the theatre world.

I also open Singing In The Rain this Thursday. If you wanna know what's up, then you really ought to get your sweet can down to the RMTC Cabaret theatre and check it out (ticket info here). I seriously sit offstage in all my Lina furs and sparkle watching the tap numbers with a big idiot grin on my face. No foolin'.

Photo from last weekend's umbrella/ticket giveaway in Railroad Park

If you want updates of both, including photos and promotional videos (and of course, random status updates and things I find on the interweb that I deem important*), please friend me on facebook and follow me on twitter!



*cat videos, mostly

It's not that I don't love you...

It is just that my life has been full of theatre, doctors' appointments, medical tests, cat scans and sleeping whenever I get a chance. I promise that I will post a full run down of the magical medical adventures of Jessica Clark, as some people were concerned as to whether or not I was okay (This in: tests show no brain tumor. Yay! But my head still may explode. Boo.), but I will save that for later.

Instead I will shameless promote yet another musical where I dance in my underwear and use a funny accent. THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS!!

You shoot on the Yee, not the Haw.

It has been a fun experience and has made me happier than a rich Texan. If I owned guns, I'd be shootin' them in the air, yelling "YeeHaw!".

We got a five star review, thank y'all very much. There's even a shout out to yours truly. And the audiences have loved it too, I tell you what! Tickets have been going fast for this one and there is only one more weekend to purchase them. So get on it if you are in the Birmingham area, or just love theatre road trips.

I mean it now. Pull those boots up, put away your nervous pants, and come on out for a little harmless fun. You can't just stay home watching the Dolly Parton film version (although Charles Durning has a very entertaining number in it). I didn't study all those King of the Hill episodes for nothing. So have a beer and pretend it's a Lonestar and come on down to the theatre.

What I've Been Up To

I told you all I'd be a bit of a ghost on my old blog, and I reckon I have fulfilled my promise! What has been eating up all my time? Well:

THE WILD PARTY at Virginia Samford Theatre. Singing, dancing, and rubbing my secret all over some very lucky guys. Musical theatre, kids! Dirty, raunchy, jazz filled musical theatre! Read our four star review here and come on out next weekend! Details here.


My day job has been far more tame, but just as fun- for the real kiddies (and some very silly adults like myself).

THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW at Birmingham Children's Theatre. It's silly AND spooky - the best of both worlds. Be sure to come out to the family days the weekend before Halloween, where al.com is sponsoring a costume contest for the kids. Plus I drag my petticoated self up to the lobby for autographs! Details here. Don't live in the Birmingham area? Never fear- we're taking this show on the road. We'll be in Florida all next week and back in 'Bama, then on up to North Carolina... and so on and so forth until  December 9th. Check with your local theatres to see if we're stopping by!!


Now that all that shameless self promotion is over, I am glad to tell you starting this week, I'll have a new post every week, at least until I start coming home from my morning shows, still covered in stage makeup, sulking in the corner and glaring up at my laptop from under my false eyelashes. Be proactive- that is my goal. Proactive. Proactive Proactive Proactive.  (Hopefully this works out better than the acne cleanser of the same name)

Hello Gorgeous

Warning: This is a musical theatre post. I call Barbra Streisand "Babs" and I talk about belting and a woman named Fanny, with absolutely no irony and no attempt to hide the light of my musical loving heart under a bushel. If it is too much for you, I understand. I'll smell you next round!

I am a big old geek for Funny Girl. I know, it is beyond cliche', that the awkward and silly theatre girl would love that big Babs-filled musical about the tragic comedienne, Fanny Brice - but there you have it. I love the mess out of it, and yes, my heart breaks for Fanny, and yes, I have stood my underwear in my bedroom at 2am and sung the title song, with tears streaming down my face, amazed at my own brilliance- until the cat comes around the corner and stares up at me with "What fresh hell is this?" eyes.

I have heard tell that there is a revival, starring Ms Lauren Ambrose, of Six Feet Under fame. Like most people, I am surprised, but very interested to see what she'll bring to the table. And here is a little bit of truth telling, followed by an explanation, and then I am moving on. I am so very glad that we dodged the Glee bullet. Now, this may steam some people's mustaches to hear that I am not a fan of Lea Michelle's seemingly neverending campaign to play this role, but frankly, I am not interested in shallow Barbra Streisand imitations. Perhaps this is a conscious choice on the behalf of Ms Michelle, seeing how she is currently playing a naive teenager with stars in her eyes and a pop rendered showtune in her heart. Most teenage actors start out imitating a performance instead of interpreting a character. So, I'll give her the benefit of a doubt that this was what she is trying to capture- nonetheless, I am super happy I do not have to witness her pull faces and fake tears throughout "My Man"*.

I really can't blame young actresses wanting to claim a little bit of that original performance for their own. It truly was iconic. But honestly- have you seen/heard the real Ms Fania Borach, aka Fanny Brice? Several of the songs in the musical, Funny Girl, were real standards of Ms Brice's. For true!

A quick background for those of you who don't know what the doo doo I am talking about: Fanny Brice was a real woman.She was a comedienne, singer, theater, film and radio actress in the early part of the 20th century. She was most famous for her time spent as a performer in the Ziegfeld Follies and her radio career that she had up until her death at age fifty nine.

Thirteen years later, a young unknown named Barbra Streisand blew everyone away with her portrayal of Ms Brice in the stage and later film musical, Funny Girl, which centered on Fanny's rise to fame, while her personal and romantic life tragically crumbled around her. Like any biopic/musical- it was expanded upon and fictionalized, but one thing was definitely true - Fanny spent most of her adult years in love with a gentleman who was more sponge than man. I'm telling ya- look it up. It is not uncommon that a successful comedienne would have a tragic love life, but Fanny's is the most famous story and to this day, the title song still kills me.


Please, find me a character actress who hasn't felt like Fanny in her personal life at least once and I will buy you drink. Two drinks, even. I know I have come out of a few relationships with this song lodged in the back of my mind. Sue me. (Please don't sue me. Blood, turnips, you get the picture.)

A few months ago I found a copy of one of Ms Brice's comedy albums based on her most famous character, Baby Snooks, but was unable to purchase it at the time. Thanks to the interweb and youtube, however, I can dig up all of her old hits, performed by the funny girl herself.

These are ones that also appear in the musical Funny Girl. It is interesting not so much to compare the two performances, but to see how Streisand took these original numbers and filled them out, while still staying true to the real person.

   

And of course, I would be loath to neglect to mention her most famous number, "My Man". The depth of feeling presented in this one song truly allows you into her private life, where things simply were not that "funny".



Years after her death, Barbra Streisand took this song, made it her own heart wrenching and belt-tastic number, and a legend was (re)born...  





*This makes the bold assumption that I could ever afford to go see this production. Oh- poverty** and insomnia has made me delusional.
**Poverty, she says. I've got my coffee and my netflix. I'll stop exaggerating my need for money. Unless you feel compelled to donate some. Well hey then, I'll gladly break out my Dickensian garb and do bell kicks while you drop coins into my pay pal account. Thank yer. Thank yer kindly.

In which I have three glasses of wine and become a little too judgemental

There are two embarrassing things that I do that, normally, I would look down on- but it is better that I come out and admit them right now. (I know, only two?)

Note: This is not me. In case you were wondering.

1. This past winter/spring, I read all the Sookie Stackhouse books, because I wanted a really trashy escape from reality. It gets worse. I stopped reading The Dark Tower series (I'm still on Wizard and Glass) to read a series about (puke) sexy vampires. Now, this feels like a special sort of betrayal, especially since we all know how Mr King feels about vampire series. Well obviously, The Dark Tower series, while still pulpy in its own wonderfully composed way, is the far superior set of books. But I chose the one that True Blood is based off of. Why? Not necessarily because I have some urge to get my undead freak on (in fact, not because of that at all- sorry vampire fans), but because this southern fantasy melodrama seemed to revel in its own trashiness and that tickled me. Plus the series required little use of my brain, which was already pretty drained dry from my mindless job that left me only able to make it through a few hours of rehearsal before going into a vegetative state. The Sookie Stackhouse series- good for people in comas and zombies!
Speaking of.
If there is anything more obnoxious than vampires, it is zombies. Almost. I mean, how hard is it to get rid of those guys- and by "those guys", I mean the fans. I am sure there is a special room in hell where all this undying vampire/zombie phenomena is being born, but it would appear I have officially forfeited my right to complain about it all the first time I decided to drink a bottle of wine and plow through the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series.

.... I might still complain a little.

2. My roommate walked in on me doing something incredibly embarrassing a few weeks ago. Something that a person in their right mind only does in private, away from the judging eyes of society. And no matter how much I tried to explain that it was something that I only do occasionally, my roommate now thinks I am a big old Gleek.

Yes. I watched the Glee. More than once. Several times. Last season AND this one. I'm sorry. I feel that I owe it to the 16 year old musical theatre dork JessBecause, who would have adored the series because she didn't know any better, to at least give it a fair shot. And while there are a lot of problems with the show, what with the autotuning, the annoying as fuck themed shows, the celebrity guests who are obviously trying to prove they are down to earth singer/actresses (more on this later), and the horrifyingly inconsistent plot/character development- I think the major problem is the show's producer, Ryan Murphy. You might remember that he was also behind the other show that was born pole vaulting over the shark, Nip/Tuck. I can't say that I ever was into it, despite the presence of a baby with lobster hands at some point (so I'm told), but it was another trashy escapist melodrama. One that I heard went from good-bad, to just plain bad a few seasons in.

Glee seems to suffer most from a producer who can't decide whether he wants a show that is campy or preachy. It seems to me, JessBecause, armchair psychiatrist, that he wants the show to be silly, bitchy, tongue in cheek fun, but he also wants to work through his own high school hang ups, via "Kurt" (also known as Babygay Kurt and now Saint Kurt), who is also the only character who has really been allowed some progression, mostly so he can become the show's main star/martyr.

The show started with a bunch of stereotypes- the jock(s), the fat girl, the bitchy gay boy, the bitchy white girl, the bitchy cheerleader(s), the obnoxious mini-diva, the bad boy, the big black girl, the homophobes, the wheelchair kid- and threw them into a giant jukebox musical tv show...

Side note. If there is a room in hell for the zombie/vampire mania, then there is an entire floor for jukebox musicals. No foolin'. I cannot think of anything more lazy than- "Hey, let's build a flimsy plot around a bunch of popular songs! We know people already like the music, so that way there's less risk, AND less work for us! High fives and red bull all around, D-bags!"- but there it is, an insanely popular movement on broadway and now on tv.

Getting back to what I was saying.
.... Threw them into giant jukebox musical tv show and then came up with unbelievably ridiculous and surprisingly predictable story lines around each character. Apparently the word 'round town is that the show has lost some of it's believability in the 2nd season, to which I reply- did you see the 1st season? Fake pregnancy. Repeat. Fake. Pregnancy. Anyway, I have given the show chance after chance, and here is what I propose to make it watchable (at least to me). Drop everyone except Stupid Brittney, Bitchy/babygay Kurt (sorry Saint Kurt- I prefer a flawed character to a martyr), Sexygay Blaine, and Sexydancy... Asian guy? I dunno, they didn't give him a name until the second season (seriously). Oh, and leave Jane Lynch and Steven Tobolowsky.  Apologies to the rest of the cast.You have talent, but someone decided that you were stuck with crappy, inconsistent characters. Blame them. Anywho, Glee! Let's choose between campy musical comedy or campy musical melodrama. Ditch the themed shows, and if you must have special guests, then you are only allowed to bring true musical theatre stars. Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Carol Burnett- those were fine. Gwyneth Paltrow- no and now I'm finally returning toa point  I wanted to make.
Now. No one is denying that Gwyneth Paltrow is a talented woman and a hard worker... but her presence on the show looked like nothing but a publicity stunt.
Publicist: "Ms Paltrow, between your website that tells people where to buy their silver spoons and your refusal to acknowledge that you were born with one in your mouth, what with your famous parents and your "Uncle Steven" (as in Steven Spielberg) giving you your first movie role, you need come off more approachable and down to earth."
Gwyneth: "Well, I can sing. You heard me with Huey Lewis a few years ago. Get me on that show with the cartoonish high school stereotypes singing top 40 hits."
Publicist: "Done! Plus we'll get you in a movie about country music. If anyone is down to earth and relatable, it is country music singers. Now that autotune is available, anything is possible!"
Okay Glee, granted-  you allowed one of your main characters, Quinn, to be played by a strikingly beautiful girl with a grating, whispery speaking voice and a reed thin singing voice that has been so blatantly auto-tuned, but that doesn't mean you have to bring in guest stars who, if they really wanted to sing, should stay in the back row of their church choir where they belong- not when you actually do have truly remarkable, natural singers on your show.

Ugh. What a hot mess. I feel guilty for not only recognizing the show's flaws, but also for being unable to move past them. But every few months, I keep going back because I grew up on musicals and I sincerely do like some of the talent on the show, and I really do keep hoping that the show will resolve it's issues and become more enjoyable.

Ridiculous? Us?

But honestly. Until they take my suggestions into consideration, which obviously they will!, I will just have to stick with silly, consistent musical comedy tv shows with original music.